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mojorisson
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Name: Lauren-Michelle
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Montgomery County
Gender: Female
Interests: we like lots of things...DMB, other music, garden gnomes, milkshakes (with whipped cream), walking to B&A at 1 in the morning for chicken fingers, late nights at Sheetz, Wal-Mart, movie nights, late night convos and going to the park to swing.....
Expertise: being ourselves...we have lots of fun and laugh about 99% of the time...the other 1% is spent finding more stuff to laugh at
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  fodalo1184
AIM:  seechelle417
Member Since:
5/23/2005
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| it's funny...as time passes and i grow and change...there is a constant that keeps surfacing in my heart..and i'm starting to truly believe that God has a much larger plan for me than i ever even imagined...the other night was rather emotional and as a result, i am exposed again and raw. my heart doesnt know what to do about this...it's gonna take a long time and a lot of conversation and analysis i guess....i'm truly a mental case, because as soon as i feel like i've got things figured out, they become scrambled eggs again. i'm so afraid to love again, yet i feel like i could if i just let go of myself for a while...but what is this hesitation i feel?....matty and i were talking the other night about what "love" truly is and means...and he said something quite prophetic. he said that to truly "love" would be without fear or hesitation and that it would just happen....so i responded saying that if that were true that love is blind. and then i really got upset because i realized that i had that once. or at least i thought i did. so if that's what "love" truly is supposed to be, then why did it end and why can't i find it again. my confussion is taking over again and i find myself weak and exhausted from it all. every relationship i've had since all that high school mess went down has been unsuccessful and painful...i've never been fully content...the reason is still unknown, but i'm trying hard to figure it out because i feel like my relationships fail because of me. there is some chip missing in my brain that allows someone to continue on and i struggle. my heart is so big for everyone and everything around me, so why can't i just get rid of all the previous stuff and start fresh? why are my feelings from so long ago still present? there are so many questions i have that are still unanswered and so many fears i have. i don't want to be hurt again...i dont think my heart could physically take it if it were to be shattered again...i made a joke with my dad and brother the other night that i have three options in my future.....a spinster with 55 cats, a nun or a lesbian.....i envision so much in my future, yet none of it seems feasible or logical anymore. i guess the journey has recommenced and hopefully this time the end of it will be more conclusive than the last. until next time...live loud, laur | | |
| well, it's amazing to me the things your heart will reveal to you after heartache, time, healing and the like. it's been awhile since i've dwelled on things and the minute i stop dwelling is the time when the most comes to me...i've realized something...a dear friend of mine, a guy i've spent the last 14 years being friends with, once told me last summer that i'm "marriage" material, not "dating" material...and i was really offended...almost to the point where i blamed myself for all of my past relationship woes. i was down on myself, spending much of my time figuring out and conjuring up methods of fixing something about who i was or changing myself in order to become desired and "dateable." as time has passed, i've slowly just stopped worrying about it, and i've realized something....they always say (and they being those people that no one can ever pinpoint, but somehow "they" know more than the rest of us and do everything in their power to instill as much knowledge about life as is possible) that everything in life happens for a reason and it's in the right timing that great things happen...i myself have even muttered this phrase to different people in my life. however, this phrase, a mere grouping of words, has taken on a larger meaning to me lately. i am really and truly content with my life right now. i have a phenominal family who more and more each day have proven to me that no matter what happens, no matter how crazy i act or the stupid things i say, what i think or what do...nothing could change the fact that they love and support me and would never ask me to change for anything in the world. my friends are amazing (you all know who you are) and i'm utterly blessed by the love and care i gain from each and every one of them...i have a job that granted causes many headaches and stressful moments, but at the end of the day proves to be one of the best jobs i could ever have hoped for. my summer is slowly filling with amazing adventures, new experiences with those closest to me and a chance to relax and rejuvinate myself before next semester starts. i'm at peace with my situation right now and as a result, amazing things are happening and beautiful people are coming into my life every day. i am being extremely cautious with my heart, while being reckless at the same time...it's extremely liberating and exhilerating with every moment that passes. i'm finding strength in people that i would never expect it from, and i am laughing louder and longer than i have in years. life is wonderful right now and i chose not to let anything or anyone tamper with that. my heart is softening from the past hurts and it is becoming easier to let people in and love again...something i knew was possible, however distant from my reality....i sincerely hope that everyone who can and does read this entry will find as much contentment, or at least a little bit this summer and that you all take every opportunity as if it were your last, and love like you could do nothing else with your life....until next time...plh, laur | | |
| ok....i am so excited right now....i'm 20 years old and i have never fully cooked an entire meal by myself for my family...well, tonight that all changed when i alone made homemade guacamole, chicken quesadillas, roasted potatoes with a butter and paprica sauce and a fresh veggie salad....all i can say to that is mmmmmmmhmmmmmmm....talk about delicious...so at least i know now that next year when i'm in my new apartment with my three rockin roommates that i'll be able to provide at least one meal a week consisting of that which i cooked up tonight....i will definitely be cooking more often and mastering other such dishes....if anyone has suggestions as to good foods for college kids to make, please let me know ....i'm all ears  until next time, stay safe, be free, make good choices and live loud.....love, laur | | |
| Well, here it is...the doorway into the twisted minds of me and chelle.....for future reference, we refer to each other as Cookie (lauren) and Honkey (chelle), so if either of us talk about those people, we are referring to each other. We have affectionately entitled this site "The Banger Sisters" because we have finally found a movie that personifies us and our relationship completely. Rent it and you'll understand...I am Suzette, and Chelle is Lavinia. The rest will explain itself. The two of us became friends last year when we roomed together first semester at Ship. We have come a long way as friends, and with every change and step we take, we always manage to come to the same conclusion...we should share this all with other people. Through our friendship, we have learned alot about each other and the world, and with our huge senses of humor, we have managed to take even the worst situations and make them funny....so, we welcome you, hope you enjoy, hope you can understand at least some of what we are all about, be free and make good choices (trojans not lifestyles  )...we love you all, and we'll post again soon...Love, Cookie Gohdels and Honkey Jenkins | | |
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